I Was SILENCED, and Thank You for That.

I shared my story with you and EVERYONE else to bring an awareness to everyone that it’s not happening somewhere else, on the news in Minnesota, California, or New York, it’s happening here and not only here. But to me and my family, I shared because I am one of us, I am your friend Duane or your friend’s friend we are musicians, artists, creatives, workers, we all know each other or have the same friends in and out of music and art, we live in the same area. I am one of us.

I never expected so many to dismiss my experience as not important or relevant or even acknowledge the pain and suffering our family suffered. That was mind boggling and I really almost lost it.


But I apologize for entering a thread where obviously I do not belong and you silenced me. ‘Right time, right place, stay on point’ There has never been a right time or a right place for the change in Police Brutality and systemic racism. So it happens when it happens. And now is the time. Saying I’m not racist is no longer enough, as evidenced by the current situation around the world. By telling me ‘right time right place stay on point, you negate the horrible experience my family had to endure from an unnecessary brutal beating to the unnecessary death of a beloved 21 year old young man. You sir, yes you and all the others who desperately try to silence me, or dismiss this event that violently ripped the heart out of me and my family. And for that I will stay silent on your posts and in your life forever more.

I will lose many of my friends, acquaintances, several family members in this ordeal I do not care.  Saying I am not racist is not enough. People that keep screaming ‘All lives matter’ (Which is quickly becoming the New Racist chant) are missing the point and standing purposefully in the way . And not one person is saying ‘all lives don’t matter‘ or one is more important than the other only the ones screaming ‘all lives matter’. It is ridiculously stupid that this has to be explained. And that’s the problem with the closed mind or the programmed mind. There are those like you sir, the ones unwilling to evolve, to change and to make this better or to willingly understand. You see you and I can go into a grocery store, take a walk in town, go anywhere and not worry about people treating us differently because we are black. You do not have to fear that when you get pulled over by a cop you run the huge and growing risk of being harassed and beaten and have to live with that fear everyday of your life just because you are black. I know for a fact. My father is a stone cold racist I just had call with him and had enough of him telling me how much he hates those n!ggers, he hates all of them and those zebra’s and cha-cha’s (Hispanics) too, how he would kill them all. So the next time you go to Wawa or the gas station think about this: You don’t have some angry racist thinking those thoughts about you because you’re white. But I know 100% there are many more like my father. Now on the other hand, when he watches that video of the cops jack booting Cody to the head he gets angry at those cops, violently angry he knows deep down that is wrong And at this point you are saying to yourself, but he just said his father was a stone cold racist. Yes, but somehow my father never acknowledged that Cody was black.

I thought about getting a few people together like you and some others to sit with my family talk and watch the brutal beating that was unnecessarily given Cody. I wanted you to see our faces and really feel our pain just for a moment and have that experience with us and look us in the eye. But I realized it would do my family more harm than any good breaking our hearts again and again, as there would be no change. Because there is a certain matter of fact resistance to change this situation and it is so deep rooted in the psyche of America. If thought for one second that I could make you, or anyone of of you change your mind or at least be open to seeing another perspective I would do it. But I will stay silent. I will lose all of you for the sake of the broken heart of my family.


But there is good news, the more you scream and post ‘All Lives Matter’ the more racist you sound, yes, the more racist you sound and ignorant. except to your fellow shouters. The more the world hears it and it shows in the streets, not just in the big cities but in almost every small town across the USA (and yes those racists are out there protesting it), the NFL knows it, the NBA knows what matters, the Pope and many, many of our spiritual leaders, MLB, NHL, all the biggest Corporations and the smallest businesses, are stepping up and using their voices and their money, the NTRA, and even the Holy Grail of all the racists NASCAR is stepping up and making a change they are willing to cross that finish line and win the war on Racism & Police Brutality and soon the Politicians will have no choice all of their constituents will want the change. Of course except for those hard core racists but the balance will have shifted irreversibly. The world is changing and you can not stop it by shouting “All Lives Matter’ that is weak and shows an inherent lack of understanding of kindness. Because we all know all lives matter.

We all like to use a Martin Luther King quote of love & unity from time to time, “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” 

But MLK is dead not because of love towards him but because of hate towards him. They hated him, and they wanted that N!gger to stay down. So I completely understand that my one little voice can not be heard by the closed mind. But when all of our voices, all of our actions, all of our consciousness all of our kindness joins together we will change the world.

Now you have a choice to make. Will you stand in the way or will you join the way.


One more little thing then you can go live your ‘All Lives Matter’ life the way you choose. Think, if you were having an argument with your wife and you were sure you were right and you got so angry you had to prove how right you were until she cried and then got mad. What would you do then? Would you not go to your wife and say ‘Gee honey, I’m sorry, I didn’t know how that affected you. I’ll try to do better and understand”? Or would you continue to prove how right you are and really make sure she knows how right you are? From my experience I am pretty sure the 2nd question is the wrong way to go but… First, you should have never let it get that far in the first place, and second if you don’t say I’m sorry and do something about it quickly I guarantee 100% the next few hours or the next few days or weeks or months even the rest of your life are going to be miserable and you will pay a terrible price.

So why not fix this problem NOW. Now IS the time. It is the right place and the right time. And I am on point.

Thank you for silencing me.

Stay Down N!gger

This how racism directly affected me…a white guy..

(Part 1)-Ok. So to all the folks out there trying to not make this a race issue. What is the reason that a young man who is doing nothing wrong but giving some friends a ride in the town he lives and grew up, and gets pulled over, pulled out of the car complies and receives a brutal beating? The young man is a well liked person with success in his future. The young man while being kicked in the head screaming ‘I’m not doing anything wrong!” is ordered “Stay down N!GGER!”. no charges, no ticket nothing…Just for being black. One year later after depression, fear and despair set in gives up on the promise of a great future and is no longer with us. But all you facebook people have your agenda, you think you are all right and know better while sitting in front of your computers and tweeting, texting from your smart device, while being programmed by your favorite cable TV news/propaganda station. When you experience it to the deepest level of your soul in any manner then I welcome your opinion for discussion. Everything else you have to say is merely an opinion based on others opinion not necessarily based on fact or experience. And after this incident the family is threatened and intimidated not to pursue charges. 99.9% of YOU people on face book who have big opinions have not experienced this and I hope you never do. But I/we have. STAY DOWN N!GGER. It is about race. and it must change NOW!

(Part 2 of this Story)People have said why didn’t you do something about it? Where’s the proof? The news? the witnesses? Our family hired a lawyer who happened to be the brother. At the time recently passed the Bar, he was told if he pursued the case they would do everything to dis-bar and dis-credit him (threat #1), When they found out we would be in possession of the dashcam video the intimidation increased random stops for family members, several times the police from that town were sitting in MY parking lot in New Hope PA stalking me, in fact parked right in my assigned parking spot, our family decided to connect with another family with similar circumstance in that town and the intimidation level went up on that family. So you see it is a systematic and cultural problem, 1st this young man had to fear just being out and doing nothing but being black, and as a family we had to fear for what a system had brutally done for no reason except racism. Racism is at the core………Racism must end! Now is the time, no more STAY DOWN N!GGER

(Part 3 of this story) I did not post this story to get likes and comments and support. A quick like on facebook with a little emoji is nothing compared to what is going on. I posted it to make all of you aware that it can happen to you. To someone you love.. And I posted it for those people sitting home on their computers and cell phones watching their cable news program, research you tube & google who all have the almighty opinion of what should be done. Especially those who have opinions, and only their opinion is valid and is righteous and nothing else matters, those people they believe blindly what their favorite talking head or their greedy politician tells them to think, what they are programmed to believe. Those people who say I’m not racist I have black friends but those Jews really bother me, Those people! and I posted this story most of all because all of you people who all show your support, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT? What? What will you do about it? Or is this going to be another one of those things we get mad about for a few weeks and then disappears? Not a day goes by where it disappears for us. Posting shit on Facebook is nothing. Artists make your make it mean something, make it say something! That’s what you were born to do!, Musicians, make your music make it mean something make say something make it change the world, When you go to work speak up make your voice be heard, Join a peaceful protest, write your congressman, your local political leaders, your schools & newspapers DO something, Do something, Do anything RACISM, Police Brutality, Looking away, complacency, must stop NOW. There is no room for RACISM. ‘STAY DOWN N!GGER! is not acceptable, Jew, Spic, Wetback, Chink, Slant Eyes, Shithole countries etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc. etc,..is not acceptable. Pretending you’re not racist but talking like this is unacceptable. The way to stop this is a change of consciousness. And our Political leaders , they have failed us in fact they fan the flames…it is up to us to put an end to RACISM now. And all the so called Christians Jesus proved this wrong by doing what others in society could not and would not do:”Then Jesus put out His hand and touched him…” (see Matthew 8:3) Jesus was love love, the teachings of Jesus is love. Jesus, who perfectly embodied and displayed God’s perfect love, did not move away in disgust. Rather, He reached out to the leper and touched him.

God is not disgusted with us. We may have committed sins, but God’s love never changes. Our sicknesses do not dilute God’s love for us, and neither do our failures and sins stop Him from loving us.Why do the so called Christians call on Jesus to further divisiveness? So why do we continue to be racist? God is Love, Jesus is Love. DO SOMETHING! DO ANYTHING! Stop this now. ‘STAY DOWN N!GGER’ is unacceptable. I don’t care what you think of my opinion I don’t care if we have been friends 40 years or 10 seconds..It’s not funny, it’s not acceptable.

Miracles: The Wounded Healer Blog

Living A Miraculous Life

The Power of Miracles

Miracle: According to Gabrielle Bernstein (www.gabbybernstein.com) in her Book ‘Spirit Junkie’ a miracle is the moment when we change the way we perceive our experiences. So that the way we experience our experiences change. The miracle of changing your mind.

According to the Course in Miracles all miracles involve a shift in perception.

What activities help us shift into being aware of creating miracles?

When we are in the practice of creating our miracles, actively changing our perceptions, when we are in the practice of prayer and meditation, when we are in the practice of expanding our awareness, when we are practicing forgiveness and compassion.

#3. Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love. The real miracle is love that inspires them. In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle. ACIM

Shifting our perception is a practice and through prayer and meditation this s how we accomplish it. The more we let go of our inner fears and become aware of our inner guidance system the more we become aligned with creating miracles everyday.

Who or what do we pray to for this guidance of shift in perception?

According to Gabrielle Bernstein, she suggests we try to find God, Spirit or some guidance of your own understanding (intuition) whether it is religious, spiritual or nature, but some of understanding of a higher connectedness to the source of all things. People on the spiritual path do not necessarily have to define who or what they are praying to. But trust in the knowing of the connection to the source of all things and the presence of that source as being far bigger than a solitary person. And that presence can restore them back to love. And in the acceptance of love is where miracles are created.

“The miracle is the means, the atonement is the principle and healing is the return to love. The result.”

In his book ‘Living the Course in Miracles” Jon Mundy makes a similar connection. The course makes repeated references to ‘choice & choosing’ and ‘deciding & the decision maker’. This means recognizing that we have made a decision for the ego; forgiving ourselves for that choice and choosing to perceive things differently.

Trust in the knowing that whether God, Angel, Christ, or the universal spirit energy, whatever you may call it, is guiding you and in many cases protecting you.

Ask for help..

There is no need to be afraid to ask for help through prayer or meditative practice. Accept the help and be aware it is coming.

Traditionally the spirit world and the secular world do not cross paths particularly in business. There is a new movement in the business world does not see the spiritual and the secular as polar opposites.

According to Bernstein, we have each come to this life, this point in life with the opportunity to unlearn everything and remember who we truly are and teach others how we got here. When we have a spiritual, health, or a message that mean achieving something more or something better in life that we are teaching when we get out in the open the spiritual and the secular are bound to crossover. Do not be afraid.

“I am not afraid, I was born to do this”. – Joan of Arc.

In a lot of us fear has become a habit. We are afraid to start something big. We are afraid to do something different. We are afraid of the unknown even though we know for sure what is not working in our lives we are afraid to change.

Through conscious choice and effort we can view things whatever they may be through the perception of love we then transcend fear and make love the habit, thereby creating everyday miracles.

‘When you witness fear call on the spirit to reorganize your thoughts and you will be recalled to love’, do it again and again. Soon your beliefs will no longer be reliant on fear. That doesn’t mean fear doesn’t exist it means that fear is not the place where your decisions are made or where you return to for guidance. You have now stepped into the realm of miracle making. If we consider ‘I am responsible for what I see. I choose the feelings I experience, and I decide upon the goal I will achieve and everything that ‘seems’ to happen to me I have asked for, and I receive as I asked. This is my responsibility.”

We will always experience fear, anger, disappointments, depression, regrets, guilt, etc. But we have a choice to experience them and let them go or be suffocated by them. When we learn to make love our habit and live in the light, we can recover from the most difficult emotions much faster and therein use the negative experience to learn and grow. Be willing to be happy.

“I do not believe in miracles, I rely on them”. – Yogi Bhajan

Changing our perception, making conscious choice and effort to see everything from the perspective of love, we are able to create miracles every day!

Become the Fire

Become the Fire.

As the fire builds inside of you as the energy to pursue your dreams and achieve your goals, ‘Become the Fire’!

A lot of folks think, when they are pursuing their goals and dreams, that when things aren’t going the way they “want” or the way they “planned”, that it’s time to give up.

Many folks want to give up when things get a little tough or a lot tough.  How easy is it to believe the negative thoughts in you head? I know I have been led down the negativity path many times. You must change your thoughts to match the life you want.  Instead of falling into the trap of the negative shift your attention to the positive and even the neutral. Many times, if we feel as if we can’t achieve our dreams any sign of setback is a clue to give up. I have experienced this. There is a cure, trust, it is work but with consistency you can overcome the feeling of giving up.  Notice that setbacks, let downs or unmet expectations are an excuse to give up and are just thoughts you decide what thoughts you want to proceed with.

Taking this path will very rarely ever meet your “expectations”. The universe speaks in paradox. What looks big, is usually small; what looks scary is usually joyful; what seems impossible is very much achievable and what seems hard can be easy. When you come to understand the paradoxical nature of the universe as well as having an awareness of how your emotions control your decisions and have an open mind that everything does not have to go ‘your’ way. You will find surely that things will go your way.

Instead of judging a situation as “bad”, a “setback” or a “quitting point”, look at it this way: see GRACE. See an opportunity to change your perception of what the outcome may be.

Become aware of the idea of how protected, guided and looked after you are. When you look back, look back and see a blessing instead of a setback. Begin a process of training your mind to become non judgmental and to be consciously aware in the present moment.

Do not give up, do not hide in your comfort zone. Do not neglect the uncomfortable feelings you may experience. Sit with them be mindful of them, understand what they are meaning to you. Setbacks, failures, obstacles, fears are judgmental thoughts based in past experiences. Meditate take care of yourself in the present moment. Develop the awareness of the present moment.  

Don’t give up because it is uncomfortable, persevere because it is uncomfortable. You can notice your fears, and judgments and let them fade by not reacting to them instead let them be and make a different choice. Have trust that the universe is guiding you. And the outcome will be much greater than you ever imagined.

Emotional awareness, humility and a grace-filled mind will take you where you need to go.

Let go of the judgments, let go of expectations of what should or shouldn’t be or happen. Be present and be engaged in this moment. Do not give up. Stay in the fire, become the fire. You must take action to overcome your fears, setbacks, doubts. Do not put the fire out, do not try to overcome the fire. Become the fire!

Let go of the expectations and just show up fully with whatever you are feeling today.

My friend Mastin says “You are not being burned – you are being purified.”